Episode 4: An Homage to Seinfeld?
Note: Once again, I watched the episode twice before writing this review. The first time is to get general impressions, the second time is to take detailed notes and hopefully pick up on things I may have missed on the first watch. Remember – I suffered for you. Non-spoiler impressions at the top – full spoiler review after the warning.
Impressions: Absolutely nothing happened in this episode. (Apologies to Wade.) You can safely skip it if you want to.
****SPOILERS****
I’m very frustrated after this episode. I have tried very hard to keep an open mind about this series, and there’s an awful lot that I do like about the series as a whole. This is the first episode that I’ve actually been bored with, and caught myself giving advice to the villains during the runtime. Don’t believe me? Here’s a sampling of some choice notes that I wrote down on my second viewing: “Torture her and be done with it.” “Torture! Yay!” “Tala is really irritating me.” “I hate the fifth brother.” “Nope – still hate him.” To be fair, there are still a couple of gags that I kind of like, but in a way this episode commits the worst kind of sin. It wasted my time.
So – with those notes out of the way, let’s pick up where we left off.
The episode begins with Ben being carried on a stretcher. He groans a lot. Too much, really. Tala whispers reassuring things. There is more groaning. Eventually, Ben is loaded into a bacta tank. The scene is juxtaposed between Ben in his Bacta Tank, and Vader in his. They both twitch and shudder, suffering from their respective emotions. Ben has had enough of the tank and he comes up for air – Tala tells him he hasn’t been in the tank long enough to heal, and Ben asks her “Where’s Leia?” We move to the Fortress Inquisitorious, where Leia is being kept in an holding room. Reva enters. There is much threatening and sassiness. Reva tells Leia that Ben is dead and that nobody is coming for her. Ben is now out of the bacta tank. He is introduced to a new character. I couldn’t hear his name very clearly, but I believe it was “Roken”. Roken tells Ben that he won’t help him. He’s risking too much, jeapoardizing the path that he has built for Jedi survivors. Ben tells him that he has no idea what the Empire can do. Roken tells Ben that he once had a wife who had abilities, and he knows very well what the Empire can do. He then decides to help after all. It is a very quick turnaround.
A plan is hatched to try and use Talas identity as cover to infiltrate Nur (the Inquisitors moon), and sneak Ben into the fortress. There is a guy named Wade there. The plan raises many questions. The characters mention that Nur has no shield. Another character responds “That’s because nobody would be stupid enough to attack them.”
Listen – I know we need a way to get into the fortress, and I know it’s a fantasy movie – but THIS IS NOT HOW SECURITY WORKS. It’s as bad as an imperial security system that checks to see if you have a face, and gives you access if you do. NOTHING says “you would have to be stupid to attack this” like the freakin’ Death Stars, and THEY BOTH HAD SHIELDS. One would assume that Nur is at least defended by a fleet presence, but this isn’t addressed. I guess they’re relying on Tala’s clearance, which should definitely be revoked by now.
On the way in, Ben practices moving objects with the force. He’s rusty, and Tala offers some trite advice.
Obi-Wan: I’ll be alright.
Tala: Your body’s not the only thing that needs to heal, Ben. The past is a hard thing to forget, and you just need time – that’s all. (I guess 10 years isn’t quite long enough – I’m sure the next 60 minutes should do the trick.)
Obi-Wan: Some things can’t be forgotten.
Tala: You care about Leia.
Obi-Wan: <nods>
Tala: Then you’re going to have to try. We’re almost there.
Unbelievable. This is the quality of writing that we’re dealing with? I so much wanted Obi-Wan to say “Do or do not, there is no try”, but nope.
So glad Tala is here to help. I have decided I hate her. Reva is back to harassing Leia. She wants to know where the path leads. She does all the standard villainous posturing – “just tell us what we want to know, and we’ll let you go.” Leia asks how Ben died, and Reva tells her that he burned to death. Leia tells Reva that she doesn’t know anything about a Path, and Reva says “Well let’s think a little bit harder, shall we?” This is where my note “Just torture her and be done with it” came from. I do not believe that this inquisitor would be wasting time jousting with a 10 year old girl. There is only so much suspension of disbelief that can be maintained, and this episode has exhausted my patience.
Tala is now inside the Fortress. She attempts to get past a security checkpoint, and is stopped by an ISB officer. He demands her code cylinder, and refuses to allow her to pass, because she is in a sector where she has no jurisdiction. Tala pulls rank, and claims to have secret information for the Grand Inquisitor. The guard reluctantly allows her to pass. This scene is both good AND bad. On the one-hand – no security officer worth his salt would allow a social engineering tactic to bypass a valid security check. On the other hand – the Empire is a corrupt system which leads from the top town, and junior officers naturally fear superior officers and punishment. I figure this scene breaks even – it does raise a question, though – is the fact that the Grand Inquisitor is “dead” not circulated throughout the Fortress Inquisitorius? I would’ve expected this to be a red flag.
Tala reaches a security teminal and opens an underwater access hatch for Ben. He now infiltrates the fortress. We return to Reva and Leia. Reva finally attempts to read Leias thoughts, and Leia resists the mind probe. THIS scene actually made me happy – it calls back to Episode IV and her resistance to the mind probe there. If you’ve never heard the Star Wars audio drama, I suggest that you look it up – in it, the mind probe scene is explicitly shown, and also explains the training she received to resist such interrogation methods. Score one for the episode!
Unfortunately, we’re back to banal diagloue – “The braver you seem, the more afraid you are.” This makes about as much sense as “The Jedi Hunt themselves.” Lola is captured. Ben sneaks around a lot, distracting troopers and trying to figure out where Leia is. Leia finally tells Reva that she will tell her where the path is – but she has to tell her father first, since “they’re all on the same side.” Reva loses patience here, and decides to finally torture her.
“Torture – Yay!”
This could have been an opportunity for Leia to tell Reva that they were on Dantooine, but that may have been one member-berry too far. Ben makes his way to a secure sector – here he finds the one interesting thing in the episode. A tomb, holding the bodies of dozens of Jedi that the Inquisitors have captured since Order 66 (including what looks like Tera Senube). Their bodies are held in stasis – this is callback to Rebels, where Kanaan was drawn in by the body of Luminara Unduli. It’s unclear how the stasis works – this isn’t carbonite, but something else. I suspect they’re held both for the purposes of luring other Jedi to their doom, and possibly for genetic material for cloning experiments. After seeing a youngling in stasis, Ben has seen enough – he calls Tala and tells her he needs a distraction. As the torture device is about to be turned on Leia, an aide arrives to interrupt Reva and tell her that she is needed urgently. Tala’s distraction is to tell Reva that she is a spy, and that the Path that Reva is searching for lead through Florim. Reva suspects that Tala is lying.
Back in the torture chamber, the power cuts. A lightsaber blazes to life, and two stormtroopers are cut down. Apparently their nightvision wasn’t working that day. Leia is rescued, and she and Ben begin making their escape. Reva believes that Tala is a spy, but isn’t sure if she’s a spy for the Rebels, or for the Empire. She isn’t buying Tala’s story. As she ponders this, a security droid catches Ben and Leia sneaking down the halls. An alarm is sounded. Strangely, Reva doesn’t kill Tala immediately.
Both she and the audience are disappointed.
As Reva goes to find Ben, there is more action hero nonsense with Tala. This is ridiculous. There are two armed and armored stormtroopers who already have her in custody, but somehow Tala manages to wrest one of their blasters away and kill both.
<sigh>
Ben is attacked on two sides by stormtroopers and droids. Finally, we see some confident lightsaber usage! One deflected bolt unfortunately hits an underwater window, and spiderweb cracks appear. Ben uses the Force to try and hold the window together and the water at bay. Tala arrives and all three escape as the window shatters and water floods in. They wisely don’t show this very clearly – no effect could believably render this. We next see Ben pulling the “3 monkeys in a jacket” gag to sneak Leia through the landing bay. This scene actually did make me laugh – this is the kind of goofiness that I think DOES belongs in Star Wars.
The fifth brother strides through the hanger and whispers menacingly, as per usual. I hate him. Then Reva shows up, and declares that Tala is a traitor. As a confrontation begins, the T-47s from Roken arrive to perform a rescue. Wade – that guy from earlier – dies. It is supposed to be moving.
Ben, Leia, and Tala somehow all fit in the gunners seat of the surviving T-47, and they escape without incident. Vader arrives to punish Reva, and this scene should not exist. This is the “emotional” scene we were warned about, and it very much has shades of Kylo Vader. As Vader is choking Reva, the Fifth Brother smiles. Maybe I don’t hate him so much, after all? Reva croaks out that she has placed a tracker on Kenobi, and wherever he goes, it will go. This saves her life. The Fifth Brother whines to Vader. “It’s her fault! She wrecked the fortress!” Nope – I still hate him.
We cut back to the escape vehicle Ben and company are using. The surviving T-47 pilot shows off her very sad face. Finally – it is revealed that Lola is the tracker. She’s EVIIIIILLLL now. We mercifully cut to end credits. I really did not want to tear this episode apart. I wanted to like it. I have mostly been enjoying this series, but this episode both bored me and insulted my intelligence. Am I being nitpicky? Absolutely. But I’ve extended this series an awful lot of good will, and it is now taking it for granted. This episode suffers from what much of Disney Star Wars suffers from – filler. The only thing that happened in this episode was that Leia was “rescued”. Otherwise, we’re right where we left off last episode.
There are only two episodes left in this show. They’d better make them count. As far as I’m concerned, this was the worst episode of the season, so far.
For all the latest news and reviews that should be fun, keep reading That Park Place! As always, drop a comment down below, and make sure to click on Lorn’s author page to see more articles just like this one!
