Believe it or not, in their misguided quest to find new ways to entice customers back into movie theaters the exhibitors are getting more and more crazed and deluded.
I mentioned in my previous piece how it wasn’t the “aeroplanes” of screen size, sound, or “exclusive windows” before they go online or other enhancements that killed the movie biz but the lack of “beauty” in the crummy movies themselves.
A screenshot from A Minecraft Movie – YouTube, Warner Bros.
But now, it seems, something new has been added to the mix of mayhem: MINECRAFT is spurring a whole new round of in-theater antics thanks to that dubious ChiCom gift to the world called TikTok.
It seems there’s a “TikTok Trend” that is compelling hundreds of young men in the U.S. and the U.K. to go berserk during screenings, notably throwing food and stuff in the theater and, in an emulation of the so-called “Chicken Jockey” scenes, to climb on each others’ shoulders and ride around the aisles.
Movie theaters are seriously complaining about this and warning guests it will not be tolerated further because with limited time between showings they have a huge chore to make the theater neat enough for the next batch of morons to degrade the (admittedly less-than-sanitary-to-begin-with) seats and floors and such all over again.
A screenshot from A Minecraft Movie – YouTube, Warner Bros.
That’s nuts. Right? But you have to remember these are the SAME theater chains who recently suggested that a GREAT way to bring more folks in was to (a) allow them to text during the movie and (b) encourage them to smoke dope during it.
Yeah, that’ll create a sedate, cleanly, orderly, and respectful audience who’ll be happily stoned enough not to question their life choices when, having paid big bucks for bad popcorn in ChiCom tariff-boosted buckets, they see something on the screen like “Snow White and The Seven Dirty Hippy Baristas” and suchlike cinematic disasters.
A screenshot from A Minecraft Movie – YouTube, Warner Bros.
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And MINECRAFT is a HIT!! Kind of the ultimate good news/bad news joke on AMC and the rest, huh?
The GOOD news? There’s finally a movie people want to turn out for and see in your houses instead of their own. The BAD news? They’ll be destroying your house in the process, even if bereft of addictive intoxicants!
What’s a movie theater to do?
A movie theater at Disney Springs – Photo Credit: M. Montanaro
PUSH THE STUDIOS TO STOP TURNING OUT CRAPOLA, or, in a turn of phrase I first heard the hilariously on-point Greg Gutfeld coin, “Ca-Ca Del Toro.”
Even if you’re a mile high and rioting with Jack Black and Momo-with-shirt-on, this ain’t rocket science folks.
At least not to me.
Can anything be done to keep movie theaters packed without destroying them? Will Hollywood ever get the message? Sound off in the comments and let us know!
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