Assassin’s Creed Shadows has finally released, and one might naively assume Ubisoft’s woes are over. Surely, with their self-proclaimed “reputable” marketing and unwavering dedication to historical authenticity, this game will sell like cold lemonade in the desert.
After all, the delays—costing a rumored $20 million—were supposedly to address every issue raised by fans and the barrage of bad press, right?
A screenshot from Assassin’s Creed Shadows (2024), Ubisoft
Even Japan’s National Diet weighed in, with Prime Minister Shigeru Ishiba slamming the game, stating, “Defacing a shrine is out of the question—it is an insult to the nation itself,” a scathing rebuke of Ubisoft’s cultural missteps. Surely, Ubisoft fixed all of this—no more controversies, no more misfires, just smooth sailing ahead. At least, that’s what the delusional mind might hope, bending reality as shamelessly as Ubisoft’s marketing “experts.”
The game is being hyped by a slew of questionable media “journalists” as a “return to form” for the franchise. Sounds promising, until you notice the phrase popping up everywhere—The Gamer, Hip Hop Wired, The Escapist, and Windows Central all parroting it like schoolkids copying off the same cheat sheet. This suspiciously uniform praise, often tied to the game’s supposed nod to classics like Assassin’s Creed II stealth focus, reeks of coordinated spin rather than genuine insight.
A screenshot from Assassin’s Creed Shadows (2024), Ubisoft
Alas, expecting honesty from gaming journalists in 2025 is like expecting a toddler to file your taxes—gamers are far too savvy to swallow this tripe. They can smell a stinking pile painted as chocolate pudding from a mile away.
As we pointed out in our last article detailing Ubisoft’s Q3 FY25 earnings disaster—Ubisoft is betting everything on this supposed cash cow to pull them out of the financial pit they’ve dug themselves into. With net bookings tanking 51.8% year-over-year and debt soaring to €1.9 billion, they’re desperate. But here’s the kicker: you can lie, spin, and hide all you want, but the numbers don’t care. Early signs suggest Shadows isn’t the savior Ubisoft needs—it’s more like a flickering candle in a storm that’s already drowning them.
Cultural Trash Fire: Ubisoft’s Unrepentant Blunders
Now that Assassin’s Creed Shadows is out, we can peek at the numbers—but first, let’s dissect the baffling decisions Ubisoft left festering in the game, sparking fresh controversy. These are choices they didn’t remove, rework, or improve, despite the delays.
Assassin’s Creed Shadows Qlectors Yasuke & Naoe (2024), Pure Arts
Ubisoft loudly touted one delay reason: to make the parkour “better than ever.” Yet, gamers and audiences agree it’s still mediocre at best—lagging far behind Assassin’s Creed Unity, which, nearly a decade later, remains the gold standard for fluid, rooftop acrobatics.
So much for that promise. But what about the other fixes they bragged about?
We’re not entirely sure how much of Yasuke’s content they “fixed” or axed to avoid “offending” people. We do know they scrapped some questionable music tracks—like the jarring hip-hop beats that blared while Yasuke hacked through foes in combat or executions. Picture this: a rap soundtrack thumping as you sow chaos in feudal Japan. Ubisoft’s “diversity is our strength” dogma landed about as tastefully as a tone-deaf exec insisting they can’t be racist because “we hired Black people.”
Fans rightfully asked: what does an American hip-hop track have to do with Yasuke, a Mozambique-born African figure with zero ties to modern U.S. culture?
A screenshot from Assassin’s Creed Shadows (2024), Ubisoft
That got yanked after backlash, but what they didn’t fix is far worse: the atrocious dialogue and abysmal voice acting. The cringe here outstrips even Mass Effect: Andromeda’s infamous “my face is tired” line—a 2017 flop so wooden it’s still mocked as a benchmark for bad writing. In Shadows, every line feels like it’s trying to win a Razzie, delivered with the enthusiasm of a bored DMV clerk.
It’s not just the dialogue, though—the game’s actions are pure nonsense, egregiously disrespectful, and straight out of a fanfiction writer’s fever dream.
Take Hattori Hanzo, Japan’s legendary ninja master—often dubbed the “godfather of ninja” for his strategic genius and leadership of the Iga clan in the 16th century. In Shadows, he’s reduced to a groveling servant after Naoe, armed with Mary Sue superpowers, beats him into submission and claims him as her lackey.
A screenshot from Assassin’s Creed Shadows (2024), Ubisoft
Then there’s Oichi, sister to Oda Nobunaga and revered as a tragic maternal figure in Japanese history, known as the “mother of Japan” for her role in uniting warring clans through her children.
Here, she’s inexplicably thrust into a steamy, romantic fling with Yasuke—a plot twist so absurd it feels like a cheap script designed to trash Japan’s cultural legacy. These aren’t bold creative choices; they’re denigrating, juvenile fantasies that scream ignorance louder than Ubisoft’s PR team screams “innovation.”
Pandering to Perdition: Ubisoft’s Stereotype Spiral
It gets even worse. Rumors swirled that Ubisoft employees were furious when players in Assassin’s Creed Odyssey overwhelmingly picked male Alexios over female Kassandra—despite the team anointing Kassandra as the canon protagonist, a choice cemented in the novelization and DLC.
The same grumbling echoed with Valhalla, where male Eivor outshone the female version in player preference, even though Ubisoft pushed female Eivor as the “historical” default in marketing and lore tie-ins.
A screenshot from Assassin’s Creed Odyssey (2018), Ubisoft
Data from 2020 showed 67% of Odyssey players chose Alexios, and Valhalla polls hinted at a similar male lean—clearly, gamers weren’t vibing with the forced narrative nudge. Fast forward to Shadows, and this obsession with sidelining male characters feels like a bad joke taken to grotesque extremes. Every male counterpart, even the historical Oda Nobunaga—a towering warlord who unified Japan through ruthless brilliance—is relegated to cartoonishly evil, mind-numbingly stupid, or saddled with unlikable traits so absurd it’s as if the writing team forgot how to craft a decent male character.
The few “good” ones? They’re conveniently killed off or sacrifice themselves for self-inflicted blunders, leaving players rolling their eyes at the predictability.
As gamers slogged through this mess, they reached the final boss.
A screenshot from Assassin’s Creed Shadows (2024), Ubisoft
Spoiler alert: it’s exactly what YouTubers and skeptics predicted—a Portuguese colonizer, because that’s the go-to bad guy trope, right?
But not just any Portuguese schmuck. This one’s the guy who supposedly enslaved Yasuke and his mother, a plot twist so jaw-droppingly “original” that no one saw it coming… except every soul who’s skimmed a Reddit thread since the game’s announcement.
The writing here isn’t just bad—it’s a masterclass in lazy pandering, suffocating under Ubisoft’s toxic positivity and relentless diversity-box-checking. Every character devolves into an offensive stereotype unless they come from a certain privileged lineage, flattened by an obsession with “representation” that sacrifices depth for cheap optics.
Yasuke’s arc reeks of performative virtue, less a tribute to history and more a checkbox ticked by execs who think slapping a modern lens on a 16th-century figure equals depth. Meanwhile, the dialogue stumbles like a drunk toddler, every line a cringe-inducing cliche that screams “we care more about optics than storytelling.”
It gets dumber.
A screenshot from Assassin’s Creed Shadows (2024), Ubisoft
Someone at Ubisoft clearly forgot they’d axed the rap song that used to play during Yasuke’s fights after backlash over its tone-deaf “diversity” flex. Yet, in the final boss fight, a hip-hop track inexplicably blares again—this time with Swahili lyrics that allegedly translate to “we will slaughter them all,” a phrase tied to South African protest songs, not 16th-century Japan. This hasn’t been fully confirmed, as that track is suspiciously missing from the official Assassin’s Creed Shadows soundtrack release, but the rumor’s juicy enough to raise eyebrows.
Who greenlit this? Who thought a Swahili rap battle fit a samurai showdown? The same geniuses who turned Hattori Hanzo into Naoe’s errand boy, probably. One must wonder: is anyone at Ubisoft still awake at the wheel, or are they just tossing darts at a board labeled “controversy bait”?
2 Million Lies: Ubisoft’s Subscription Smoke Screen
The story might be bafflingly bad, with atrocious writing that leaves us scratching our heads, but how does this trainwreck reflect on sales? Truth be told, things aren’t looking rosy if you peel back the curtain of pandering “journalists” parroting their synchronized orchestra of praise.
A screenshot from Assassin’s Creed Shadows (2024), Ubisoft
As of this writing on March 25, 2025, the Steam player numbers for Assassin’s Creed Shadows are dismal—peaking at a measly 64,825 concurrent players before flattening out like a day-old soda. Here’s the kicker: they couldn’t even top Dragon Age: The Veilguard’s Steam peak of 89,304.
Investors should be sweating bullets—Shadows isn’t even cracking 100k on Steam, a platform where middling indie titles sometimes flex bigger numbers.
But hold up, you might say—didn’t Ubisoft just trumpet that “Assassin’s Creed Shadows has reached over 2 million players across all platforms in just three days,” as CFO Frédérick Duguet boasted on March 23? Sounds like a slam dunk, right? Except keen eyes will spot the glaring omission: the word “sales.”
That’s no accident.
A screenshot from Assassin’s Creed Director’s Cut Edition (2008), Ubisoft Montreal
To unpack this, let’s rewind to when Ubisoft’s investors started flashing red warning signs. Rumors have been swirling that the Guillemot family—founders and longtime stewards of Ubisoft, holding a 15% stake—were scrambling to cut deals and offload IPs to claw their way out of a €1.9 billion debt pit, as reported in their Q3 FY25 earnings call.
Whispers of a Tencent buyout or IP sales to rivals like Sony flickered briefly, but those hopes crashed when investors caught wind of the plans and balked. The Guillemots’ grip on control clashed with a 10% shareholder bloc led by AJ Investments, who’d been howling for a full sale or privatization since September 2024.
With no deal in sight, Ubisoft pivoted to a desperate restructure—carving out a new entity to house crown jewels like Assassin’s Creed and Rainbow Six. The pitch? Sell a minority stake to fresh investors, keep majority control, and let this shiny new shell license out IPs—even to Ubisoft itself—while dodging the old company’s liabilities.
A screenshot from Assassin’s Creed Brotherhood (2011), Ubisoft Montreal
It’s a sleight-of-hand to lure cash without sinking under the weight of their failures. Think of it as tossing valuables off a sinking ship while leaving roughly 18,204 employees—down from 19,011 in March 2024 after multiple layoffs—to drown in the wreckage of bad sales and debt.
But how does this work? The new entity would own the IPs, free to lease them out to other studios or even Ubisoft’s husk, presenting itself as a clean slate untainted by the parent’s €1.59 billion ($1.72 billion USD) market valuation (as of March 21, 2025) and €1.408 billion IFRS net debt (Q3 FY25 report).
It’s a clever dodge—Ubisoft’s total valuation is so dwarfed by its debt that selling an IP outright for more than the company’s worth would be laughable. No buyer with a pulse would bite; it’s like paying premium for a rusted car when the dealership’s already underwater. Instead, this new venture could rake in licensing fees, retain creative control, and let the old Ubisoft rot with its bloated workforce and financial sins.
Yasuke executes an innocent man pressed into a fight in Assassin’s Creed Shadows (2024), Ubisoft
So, what’s this got to do with sales?
The investor revolt—especially from heavyweights with deep stakes—likely forced Ubisoft to cough up preliminary sales data. Insider projections paint a grim picture: the numbers are a flop. Leaked forecasts shared with investors have been slashed not once, not twice, but three times since pre-launch, per industry whispers on X. That explains the instant 10% stock plunge on March 20—shares tanking from €11.32 to €10.19 overnight, per Yahoo Finance—a neon sign of market panic.
In high-stakes launches like this, controlling investors don’t mess around. They demand real-time updates, often same-day or next-morning breakdowns of pre-sales versus day-one performance. They’ll even push for a “net gain projection”—a slick metric comparing launch sales to pre-sale baselines, with a 10-20% uplift as the gold standard for success.
A screenshot from Assassin’s Creed Shadows (2024), Ubisoft
It’s a blaring alarm that the game’s a dud, unlikely to fuel long-term revenue. A 10% stock drop on a “successful” launch day isn’t just rare—it’s a death knell, hinting that insiders with these numbers are already bailing.
But there’s more to unravel about that “2 million players” flex.
Ubisoft’s subscription service, Ubisoft+, boasts an estimated 1.5 million subscribers—based on analyst guesses from 2024 pegging it at 1-2 million, bolstered by their Q3 report of 36 million MAUs across platforms.
Shadows is baked into that subscription, meaning those 1.5 million already had access on day one. Now, check the Q3 FY25 financials: net bookings for the first nine months hit €944 million, down 34.8% year-over-year, with Q4 projected at €956 million to reach their €1.9 billion FY25 goal.
Key art for Assassin’s Creed Shadows (2024), Ubisoft
If Assassin’s Creed Shadows truly sold big, you’d expect a juicier Q4 bump—but it’s barely a blip. Steam’s 64,825 peak suggests actual sales are a fraction of that 2 million—maybe 500,000 units tops, possibly less, since Steam often mirrors broader trends. That “2 million players” shoutout? It could just be a smoke-and-mirrors PR stunt to soothe jittery investors who don’t have the insider scoop, papering over a launch that’s more whimper than bang.
Ubisoft’s Bitter End
The road to financial ruin was as clear as a neon sign in a power outage for anyone who plays games and isn’t blind as a bat. Sadly, Ubisoft’s been led by a delusional blowhard, a swaggering egomaniac so drunk on pride he’s convinced disaster’s just a mirage that’ll vanish before impact—too stubborn to see the cliff he’s already tumbling over.
Assassin’s Creed Shadows reads like a rejected Fifty Shades knockoff scribbled by a scorned fanfic writer, oozing petty vengeance against everyone who ever dared say “no” to Ubisoft’s genius—a steamy, cringe-soaked mess that’s less “epic tale” and more “please stop, my eyes are bleeding.”
A screenshot from Assassin’s Creed Shadows (2024), Ubisoft
Japanese politicians are sharpening their katanas over Ubisoft’s butchery of their heritage, with Prime Minister Shigeru Ishiba’s March 21 jab, “This is not a game; it’s an assault on our soul,” still ringing loud. Local players aren’t just skipping this slop; they’re treating it like radioactive sushi, leaving it to rot on the shelf. Investors are bailing faster than rats in a flood, and I’d bet my last euro we’ll see seismic shifts in the coming days—tectonic moves that’ll reshape Ubisoft forever, and I’d wager my left sock it won’t be pretty.
While dubious “journalists” keep chirping their copy-paste victory anthems, calling this a triumph, the inevitable layoffs and collapse looming over Ubisoft’s roughly 18,204 employees will slap them back to reality. It’s not just a fall—it’s a guillotine drop, a rusted iron curtain crashing down to smother the proud fools too arrogant to admit they’ve lost. The gig’s up, and all the spin in the world can’t resurrect this corpse.
Do you believe Assassin’s Creed Shadows is a success? Sound off in the comments and let us know!
UP NEXT: China Rejects Snow White After Years of Disney Pandering to The CCP—The Message is Clear
Use this opportunity to show people just how bad the modern media is. It’s not usually this crystal clear.
The game is an absolute failure if it can’t even match Failguard.
I will also keep stating this until people get it right: You Be Soft’s TOTAL debt is €2.5 billion. That’s just the tip of the iceberg of their financial woes, though. It’s too complicated to go into here and we’re missing critical data regarding their earnings over all four quarters of ’24 to boot.
As for spinning off a new company to license out their IPs, I seriously doubt that’s going to work. None of the other triple-A studios have demonstrated any ability to create decent games or interest in doing so. Indie studios might, but they aren’t going to have the deep pockets necessary for this venture to pay off.
It’s rare to find a virtual Japanese game that’s as unexciting as this one in Japan.
All the cultural commentary is great here, but I where were you guys when the original AC and its immediate sequels crapped all over revered religious and historical figures?
Let’s hope we’ve learned our lesson since then.
[…] Appear to Approve Taxpayer Funded Grants for Themselves in Government Game Funding Expose– Media Touts Assassin’s Creed Shadows as a Success — It’s Not ∟In reality it’s getting dominated by Yasuke Simulator ∟A game literally […]